My Writing Corner

Young Ladies at Crossroads: Should You Stay at Home or Attend College?

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And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. 
Colossians 3:17

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. 
Colossians 3:23-24

She was a young lady now, ready to launch out. Fresh out of highschool, capable, enthusiastic, and eager to live out her full potential in life- to fulfill her purpose. Her future was bright, there were so many opportunities, so many pathways that she could choose! Yet here she was, at a crucial point in her life and there were life-changing decisions to make…but which was the right one? What was God’s will for her life? Should she become a stay at home daughter and learn homemaking? Should she pursue further education and get a degree? Should she become a missionary? Which was her calling? Could it be a combination of two things? Should she go along with the trends and do what other girls her age were doing? How could she know what was God’s will without making a mistake? 

If you are a young lady, you probably can see yourself described in the little paragraph above. Many of us have been at this crossroads, and some of you are maybe at this point in your life right now. You’re young, and recently graduated from homeschooling or high school, or will graduate soon. It’s exciting and a little frightening too. Everyone’s asking you the big question:

“So, what are you going to do now? What do you plan to study or work?”

This topic has been discussed and debated on many blogs that I visit. It’s the major question:

Should a young lady stay at home? Or should she attend College? 

I’ve often thought about this question and discussed it with my family and siblings. But I thought I’d write a post and it would give us all food for thought.

Some people are of the opinion that all girls should stay at home after high school. They should learn to be a homemaker, and take care of a family, cultivate skills that she will use as a wife. Others say girls should go to school, get a degree or have a career no matter what. Others think the right thing to do is become a missionary. And pretty strong debates arise from these topics.

I say none of these convictions are bad. All have a valid reasoning behind them, but they must be put in perspective of God’s Word and our current real-life circumstances. Each family is different, each family has a unique calling, lifestyle, and different personalities, financial situation, and location area etc. So what works for one family might not work for another family.

I am not referring to certain Biblical standards and convictions that all Christian families should hold. Those are important and should be applied by everyone. We can all learn from other families who are a godly example, and we should strive to be well equipped (2 Timothy 2:15), to deal with many aspects in life, ranging from defending the faith, to learning theology, to being up to date on many contemporary issues in churches and families are dealing with.

So how do we know what to do? What choices to make? The bottom line we have to remember is this. It doesn’t matter where you are: whether at home or at college. What is important is to be in God’s will, to be where God wants you to be. If God wants you home, that’s where you should be. If God has a purpose for you in going to college, that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. Don’t let others tell you what to do. When you are fulfilling God’s purpose for you, you are doing the right thing, whether it be going to school or staying at home. Neither makes you more righteous. God has different callings for different people. This applies both to young men and young ladies. Some are called to be doctors or nurses for example. Some people can do ministry on university campuses as a professor, others can minister to those in the military, to high officials and important people, while others are called to stay at home. We need godly people in all kinds of positions to spread the Gospel. 

Of course I am not arguing for the feminist concept of wives always working instead of the husband. But I am saying if the circumstances of some families requires the woman to work part time or get a degree before she is a mother, it is not un-Biblical or condemn-able.

There are many examples in the Bible of people who fulfilled the role God called them to in ways that probably were not expected by other people. Queen Esther was apparently an ordinary Jewish girl, but God then placed her in a position of Queen “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). Daniel was a young man in Israel but then served a king as a wise man, being “ten times wiser than the magicians and enchanters” (Daniel 1:20). Lydia was a businesswoman, “a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira” (Acts 16:14).

Whether you stay at home or go to college, or become a missionary, the most important thing is first to find out what ministry God wants you to do in your little corner of the world.

Maybe you want to be a missionary. You can’t wait for God to send you to an unreached people group. But have you thought of being a local missionary? Have you ever prayed for your neighbors? The cashiers at your local grocery store? The mailman? Have you ever prayed for the people in the cars all around you when you drive on the freeway? The families you meet at the park when you go for a walk? The fields are ripe all around you! We tend to think of mission work as that beyond our borders…but there are so many people right here, in your own neighborhood, in your own town and city who need the Gospel. Sometimes you can’t give Gospel tracts to everyone…but you can pray for the people you see and ask God to reveal Himself to them as they go about their life.

My main point is to live for the Lord wherever you are, and make sure you are in His will. For some people He will call them to get a degree before they become a stay at home mother. For others He may allow them to become missionaries first.  Whatever His calling is in your life- do it.

What are your thoughts on this issue? Share your comments below.

Part II Coming Soon with Related Topic: “How do you find out God’s will for your life? How to equip yourself to stand strong in your faith and counteract worldly influences whether you’re at home or in college.” 

16 thoughts on “Young Ladies at Crossroads: Should You Stay at Home or Attend College?

  1. this was a good post, Becky dear! I appreciate the way you put neither down and lift up Jesus and God’s will as the main deal. It’s like modesty standards or the ‘dating vs courtship’ argument– we need to be careful to not get so caught up in the argument we loose the main focus! LOL This goes for me as well ;):):) Thanx for sticking your neck out there on what is a very controversial topic 🙂 and reminding us of the Truth in it 🙂

  2. Thank you for sharing! I was very interested in this because I’m considering possibly going to college for nursing training in a few years. I’d like to become a nurse, then go on the mission field somewhere. I love how you stressed doing whatever God is calling us to do. Thank you! 🙂

    Blessings,
    Esther
    (jewelsofjesus.blogspot.com)

    1. Dear Esther,

      I’m so glad you found this article useful! I checked out your blog and it looks interesting. Did you find my blog through Bonnie’s Blessings? Thanks for sharing with me your heart.

      In Christ,
      Rebekah

  3. Thank you for such a non-judgmental take on this question. I am college educated and so very grateful for it. Here’s why:
    a) You can’t assume you’ll marry right out of high school. I didn’t meet the man God intended for me until I was 34. Who would’ve supported me before than had I not been trained for work?
    b) You can’t assume your husband will be able to support you. Your husband could develop a horrible disease or disability leaving him unable to be the breadwinner. He may even die young (my MIL became a widow with 2 kids at the age of 33). Look how many honorable, hardworking men lost their jobs thru no fault of their own when the economy bottomed out a few years ago.
    c) Your kids won’t need you full-time forever. When you become an empty nester, you’ll need something of your own and the things you learned in college can lead to great jobs or hobbies after the kids move out.
    d) Even if you are a SAHM, a college degree can make you much more effective at homemaking and/or homeschooling. Budgeting the finances, teaching your children, making sound decisions about their medical & educational needs can be benefited by having a degree.
    e) Many SAHM’s are able to supplement the family finances by working from home or having side businesses such as an Etsy site or selling items through their blog. A college degree can help make you a success in these avenues, too.
    f) God is here! But God helps those who help themselves. I believe He expects all of us to have a Plan B should things take a bad turn. A college degree is a great Plan B.

    1. Hello Jill,

      You gave some very interesting feedback and brought up some important points there in relation to life, college, and staying at home. Even the economy issue is pretty big right now. Yes, I think it is Biblical for mothers to stay at home with their children, however until a young woman gets married, like you also mentioned, she should stay busy and do ministry and schooling/learn to do things that will benefit her in the future. Thanks for sharing your life experiences with us!

      Blessings,
      Rebekah

  4. As a young woman, I chose to attend college, but I have never had a “career.” I’m a stay-at-home mom (who has occasionally worked on the side) and have been since our first child was born. I think what you said is key – that what matters most is not what others think, but what the Lord desires you to do. I think another good thing to remember is that we’re not locked into just one choice! I know as a young person, it feels like you’re deciding for the rest of your life, but you can always go back to school later or you can always choose a family later on. One thing we will be recommending to our children as they reach that age is to attend Bible School first (we like New Tribes Bible Institute’s two-year program). Nothing can take the place of a solid foundation in your walk with the Lord when you are just heading out into the world! 🙂 I’m visiting from Walking Redeemed’s link-up.

    1. stultsmammaof4,

      I appreciate that you pointed out a key aspect that should be a main priority for young adults (men and women), which is to have a solid Biblical foundation, and really invest time in learning doctrine and know what you believe so you can withstand worldly attacks when you launch out. Absolutely!
      It’s also true that life is not as rigid as we imagine it to be, and there’s a certain degree of flexibility in relation to choosing a path for life…my family and I were full-time missionaries for many years, and then the Lord called us to transition to work and support ourselves while doing ministry.
      Thanks for visiting!

      Blessings,
      Rebekah

  5. I think it is really naive to let our girls be “stay at home daughters.” As one reader pointed out, you may not get married until your 30s or later, and you can’t expect your parents to support you that long (nor would it be developmentally healthy for them to do so). Even if you are married, something could happen to your husband or he might not even WANT to support you completely! I’m not saying college is the only answer, but girls should develop some skill that they can use to support themselves. They can “learn homemaking” while they develop this skill-homemaking is not difficult to learn. I think that’s basically what this post was saying but it just makes me worry when people say young girls should just stay at home and wait for a husband!

    1. I absolutely agree Cora! We never know the path the lord will lead us diwn. Preparation to financially take care of ourselves and our is wise!

  6. I went away to college and had a TERRIBLE time. My faith wasn’t rooted while I was away, I didn’t do any “wife-in-training activities” haha. I needed to come home and be with the family, learn how to take care of a family and a home, and not be so selfish. I believe the greatest job is wife and mother and I cannot get a B.A. or B.S. in Future Wife. I believe everyone should have a choice, and my choice is to be home. Thanks for writing this.

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